Wednesday, December 31, 2008

mission impossible?

really the basis of this entry started in november. i walked in to work about a week before thanksgiving and the girl i share an office with was chuckling to herself. her mother-in-law had called the night before requesting "3, maybe 4, no 5 ought to do it" butterball turkey breasts. i suppose this should be prefaced. the mother-in-law lives in california. to comply with the request, it would require a suitcase full of frozen poultry. as we chatted over this concept we laughed to the point of tears. not going to lie, the concept of turkeys going though the x-ray machine nearly knocked us off our chairs. luckily for her, the local grocers-ALL OF THEM-we not stocked to supply the needed poultry and her mission failed.
two weeks later i went with a friend of mine to drop her brother off at the airport. at that point i witnessed him stuff a bag of food from mcdonalds into his hoodie to try and sneak it in through airport security. i thought that was amusing to begin with. then the roommate told me that the day before he had snuck an entire pizza into a movie theater. now THAT, i would like to see.
i've pretty much given up on driving home. the drive nearly kills me every time, so i've taken up flying...with gas prices as they have been, the price is actually competitive. flying home for christmas i sat next to a woman that made me think of the past two stories. her final destination was houston for christmas part 2 with her daughter. she shared with me the fact that her suitcase was currently housing a ham, swedish meatballs, and five cans of stephens hot cocoa. wow. she wins. no contest. i have yet to decide whether or not i want to play the game, but apparently i have quite the load to live down...
the things we do for food.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

i'm convinced...

i'm supposed to fly home on christmas day. i've decided that i'm taking my laptop with me. really-it wasn't the original plan, but i'm now COMPLETELY CONVINCED that i will spend my ENTIRE HOLIDAY in an airport. this could definitely become the GREATEST CHRISTMAS EVER!!! we'll see how it goes...

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

i'm amused...

1) my fingernails are currently red.
2) i have a bruise on my right knee that will probably become infected, necessitating amputation of the connected appendage.
3) i got a penguin mug for christmas-solidifying the psuedo-reality of the iconic usage of penguins at christmas-time.
4) my last three trips to the north end of the valley have been on horrific weather days. by all standards, i should probably be dead. okay, maybe not dead.
5) i should be exhausted at this exact moment, but just had some homemade hot cocoa and have enough choco-caffiene in my system to buzz me until morning. i find that mildly depressing.

Sunday, December 21, 2008


While I was growing up, there were elves at my house. They did random acts of service during the year, but they tended to appear more at Christmas time. Earlier this week, I walked out after work find see my car covered with inches (literal inches) of snow. It was on my short day, and really I didn't have a lot of pressing things that had to be done, so I turned on my car to warm it up and cleaned off my car and 3-4 other cars of fellow employees who were going to be there later than I was. It was my warm-fuzzy for the day. I thought it was just kind of fun. Friday was a snowy story day and so that night, I walked out-late and mildly stressed because I had to drive through the storm to pick up a friend for the weekend-to find that elves had struck my car and that it had been cleaned off before the snow froze on to the car and the windshield. I was so grateful. Thank you to who ever it was. It made my night a lot more enjoyable.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

just in time for christmas...

october 31 my car registration expired. being the upstanding citizen that i am, i sent in my renewal paperwork on 2-3 weeks before hand-in my mind, giving the state of nebraska PLENTY of time to process the registration AND get the stickers to me in utah. october 27. happy day in my life. the stickers arrived at my house in nebraska. october 28. dad put the stickers in the mail giving them 3 days to travel across the country. 5 days later i got really concerned. 7 days later i had my mother talk to the DMV to see what could be done. 12 days later, the second set of stickers arrived. life is currently happy. i am legally driving my car. today, 51 days after the day they were originally sent, the first set arrived. better late than never, right?

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

I don't understand...

Now don't get me wrong here. I love penguins. One of my favorite "claims to fame" is the fact that penguins live in my mission, but I do have one question. When did the penguin become a Christmas icon? Last time I checked, they were not there with the shepherds and sheep, nor were they with the camels and wisemen. Last time I watched PLANET EARTH or MARCH OF THE PENGUINS, Antartica was the typical place for penguins. That places them geographically NO WHERE near the reindeer, elves, and North Pole. Yet...the latest trend in Christmas decorations has penguins in santa hats, wrapped in lights, holding candy canes, etc...anyone care to explain this one to me?
PS "because they're cute" is an unacceptable answer.

Monday, December 15, 2008

I've once again reached that point in my blog where I'm waiting for someone else to update it. I get the feeling that the waiting is going to be in vain unless I do something about it. I just don't know where to start...
*Muppet's Christmas Carol and homemade Egg Nog
*Ode to Bojangles-a night full of epoxy and jumper cables
*Tabernacle Choir Christmas concert
*Stephen's Hot Cocoa. The one thing that can improve it is a good sugar cookie.
*Half-Day at work and half-day with the nephew.
*6:30AM temple shift Saturday
*FOOD! obscene amounts...but it tastes so GOOD!
*12:12am/pm 12-12-2008
*More Muppet's Christmas Carol
*Pizzeria 7 12 and the 50% tip.
*Christmas boxes and Carmel Corn
*The irony of the snowfall. ONE DAY LATE!!!
Oh the joys of a great week in December. Take it for what it's worth...

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

weak sauce.

this is what i am. i was talking one of the drug reps at work today. (remember, i work in a doctor's office. i am not a dealer.) i hadn't seen him in a few months, but that was to be expected-last time i saw him, he told me he was going to have rotator cuff surgery the next week and wouldn't be back for a month or so. he told me today that 10 days after his surgery he took off for nepal and hiked to the base camp. WHAT!?! are you kidding me? he hiked with a ski pole to ward of yaks-all while wrapped up in braces and styrofoam blocks. my roommate told me i was hardcore last summer because i hiked 1-2 times a week. i had to cancel my last hike because of a COLD!!! i respectfully relinquish my title of "hardcore". i have entered the world of weaksauce...

Sunday, November 30, 2008

not my mother's thanksgiving...

like george washington-i cannot tell a lie. i think i just got home from one of the greatest holidays in my recent past. i went to idaho (i know...great destination)and spent the holiday with an old roommate. the theme for this holiday was "not my mother's thanksgiving". if the title is not enough to imply it, this was our first non-mission thanksgiving away from home. that means, no mom, no grandma, nor aunt to do all the cooking. we were left to fend for ourselves. once lies-i'm pretty sure it was the BEST turkey i've had in my life (and i don't think it was just because we cooked it ourselves). seriously was one of the best weekends i've had in a really long time. lots of rest and relaxation in the form of movies (at least 11 of them) and the wii (we'll not count the hours) and people who love me...always a good combination.
my holiday fling with guitar hero has officially been terminated. indefinitely. when use of my right arm is re-established, negotiations may be opened to redefine this relationship.
***and now-back to our regularly scheduled program***
as i layed in bed thanksgiving morning (extremely thankful for an exceptionally comfortable bed), i contemplated past thanksgivings--the so-called landmarks in my life.
~turkey on a styrofoam plate and a mixed tape of the carpenters~
when i was approximately 15, we spent our holiday painting my grandparents living room. it was great. mom and kelly made turkey, stuffing, rolls, and pie while the rest of us covered the piano and furniture and painted the walls. we took turns eating as the styrofoam plates of turkey were passed around. we also took turns flipping the tapes over and that is where i learned the fatefully true lyrics "rainy days and mondays always get me down"(...still can't figure out how i survived chile). i think it was that year that i realized that it's not just about food. it's about family and being thankful.
~pumpkin pie in south america~
speaking of thanksgiving there was one of the greatest-not going to lie. it was the year that president hinckley challenged all members of the church to read the book of mormon between august and december. oddly enough, i finished it on thanksgiving day. i would call that strangely appropriate. we had district meeting in our chapel that day so the elders asked us if we could meet them there early so they could have leadership meeting before hand. we let them in and hid in a classroom and i finished the book of mormon. i took moroni's challenge and received my answer. it wasn't any different than any other time that i'd prayed about the book, but it came. i had never been so grateful for the scriptures and a heavenly father who loves me enough to give me a personal relationship with him and the holy ghost and-through those relationships-a testimony of his gospel. i found that appropriate for a thanksgiving day, right? i would have been totally content with that, but i got a phone call later that day as i was wandering around camino real in the rain that just iced the cake. one of the assistants asked to meet us back at the church, that he had something for us. when we found him there, he had a slice of pumpkin pie for us. GLORY!!! there are perks to being in the same town as the mission home and having gringos for mission presidents. it was perfect. all was right with the world-a loving heavenly father and pumpkin pie. what more could i have asked for?
~not my mother's thanksgiving~
this was the beginning of my future thanksgivings. (i know, cheesy. get over it.) it wasn't like mom's, but hey, i'm okay with that. at some point, i'm going to have to take over and do it for myself. for practice we brined, basted, and carved our own turkey. we mashed potatoes. we had pie. we started our own traditions. it's okay. we can be grateful for the future and the adventures it brings-adventures in turkey only being a small part of what the future holds for me...
all in all, i'd consider the holiday a grand success-one of those experiences that go down in the memory books as a first. i'm looking forward to many more...

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Just for the record...

I watched the BYU/UTAH football game today. ALL of it. That means I watched a full football game. Yay me.

Friday, November 21, 2008

the whistler...

once upon a time i worked in an office. we listened the radio quite a bit-it happens in offices. one day, while listening to said-radio, they had a short news bleep about whistlers. yay for useless factoids that will be forever ingrained in my brain. one out of five people in an office is a whistler. the whistler will also drive the other four crazy. at the time, i was in an office of 11. we had one whistler. she didn't whistle all the time, nor did she do a bad job when she did whistle, but i was acutely aware of her musical habit.
flash forward two years. i still work in an office. (it's kind of a familiar story...) we have a fellow in the office who studied in new york, but is originally from china. he speaks english really well, but there are a few bits of culture that he missed, for example-the 80's. he recently has discovered the glory of youtube. apparently he taught himself how to moonwalk watching youtube...he broke that one out the other day and had us all rolling because of it.
today, they added a bit of mood music to my friday afternoon ritual, a little bit of phantom of the opera. it's quality entertainment. the same moon-walking doctor apparently has recently discovered the glory of phantom as well. he whistles it now. the thing that really amuses me is that he just whistles it. he doesn't whistle along with the music. he whistles the music. it doesn't matter whether he is 3 bars ahead or 4 bars behind, or whether he is even whistling the same song-it just brings him joy to be vocally(if i can use that word) participating. good for him. the thing that i find ironic is that there were 5 of us in the office that day. 1 out of 5...

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

oh boy.

so i've had a cold. no big deal, right? they come a few times yearly. as my mother pointed out to me, it only happens when i don't sleep. ha. sleep! who needs it? seriously. okay, now that i'm over my pride, i fully accept and support that statement. i only get sick when i quit sleeping. ironically (or not at all), my favorite method of kicking the cold is sleeping it off. that's exactly what i did with this one. after 3-hour naps daily, and a weekend full of r&r, I FEEL AMAZING!!! gotta a love the great 'recovered' feeling however i'm completely amused by the few after effects of the cold...namely, my voice. it's all sorts of amazing. i called a restaurant to order a salad for dinner and the girl that took my order called me BOTH 'sir' and 'ma'am'-poor girl, that's awkward. they told me at work today that i have a sultry phone voice. ha. then i realized how many people i talk to on the phone many people come home from work to find my voice on their answering machine. it's a good thing i don't have a 900 number. the cough that accompanies the voice. also beyond amazing. it's quite the combination... unproductive smoker's cough + my hot voice. i suppose that's my cue...i'm not done with the naps and orange juice diet.

Monday, November 10, 2008


i literally have a park in my back yard. there are also lots of trees with really great leaves. last week they all fell and i seriously considered joining the 6-year-old children as they jumped in the leaves and successfully destroyed the carefully raked piles. i really wish i had...

Sunday, November 9, 2008

-painful optimism-

What the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints Means to Me…
There is no place to really start. There is no beginning to the blessings that I have received and there will be no end to them either.
Really this week I have profoundly felt my innate sense of optimism. This baffles me completely because this has not been the greatest week for my sense of…anything (period). Really I hate politics and the fact that elections occurred…well, let’s put it this way, I was glad that I spent Tuesday night in the temple, hiding from the world. As I left the temple, I mentally outlined the blog that I would compose as I drank my cup of cocoa and went to bed. I didn’t want to watch the results. I just wanted to hear it on the radio the next morning as I got ready for work. Honestly, I didn’t care who won. My theory is that “choosing the lesser of the two evils” is STILL choosing evil. The next four years have potential to be very difficult—no matter who is in office. Somehow, as I got ready for bed and blogging, my roommate called me and invited me to an election party. Still not quite sure how it happened, but I went—sporting my bright green scarf (none of this red and blue business). I sat there and watched the celebration as Obama was declared the president-elect, and actually managed to sit through all of McCain’s concession speech (very well done, I might add). I suppose the thing that surprised me the most was that as much as I really didn’t care about the result of the presidential election, I really wanted to know what was going on in California with Proposition 8. I was surprised by this fascination because I really don’t have any connections to California. I know people, but didn’t really feel the connection to actual election. Oh wait, then I thought about the actual proposition.
The family is central to God’s plan for us and essential in our growth and development to become like him. I believe that “marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children” (THE FAMILY: PROCLAMATION TO THE WORLD). I imagine that if I had lived in California, I would have left hangy-thingys [yes. it’s a technical phrase.] on doors and I could have possibly stood on street corners with signs, but that’s all I can really do. I can’t force anyone to cast their vote one way or another. It’s all part of the agency. Principles can be taught, but application is self-initiated. My understanding of democracy is that each can cast his or her own vote and be heard. California voted and the proposition passed. Marriage has been defined as a union between man and woman. I’m not saying it’ll last forever…it’s not the first time that California has voted on this proposition. Ultimately, I wouldn’t be surprised if that changed at some point, but for now, the majority of the public agree with me. I’m currently fascinated by the (vocal) minority’s response. Protests…police…wow. I’d like to think that I can understand where they are coming from. I work in a doctor’s office. I’ve learned a few things since I’ve started working there: 1) I don’t know everything. 2) Sometimes there is no immediate answer. 3) Sometimes there is nothing to be done. 4) Sometimes things happen that I have no control over that I get to learn to deal with. Perhaps it would benefit them well to learn some of the same lessons. Unitarian minister, Jenkins Lloyd Jones, (probably unintentionally) made a legendary statement:
Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he has been robbed….Life is like an old-time rail journey—delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.
Things happen that we don’t like and we don’t plan for. Sometimes we have to deal with it anyway. The odds are we’re not the first to go through it and we probably won’t be the last either. The amazing thing is that they we are given the opportunity. Whether California made the right decision or not [for the record, I believe it did], it was given the liberty to make a decision. There are so many places in this world that still don’t have that blessing.
Beyond my fascination with Proposition 8, I have felt almost surreally optimistic for the future of our country. Approximately half of the country is thrilled for the future, and at the same time, the other half is planning their quick get-a-way to Canada, Mexico, or their country of choice. Really, is that necessary? This country was discovered and settled under God’s power. It was discovered so that His church could be restored and so that His children could have the opportunity to develop a personal relationship with Him. He loves His children and will do everything He can to help them. He isn’t going to let us fail…”come what may—and love it!” Really, we live in a wonderful time. We have a prophet on the earth. We are children of God. He loves us and has a plan for us. He really wants us to be happy, but will not thrust happiness upon us. We get to choose to have it.
Now, re-reading this, it’s rather political. I’m kind of excited about that. That means that I’m in the midst of developing a political opinion. Check that one off the “I’d like to think I could…” list. Religion may be separate from state in the political world that we live in, but in MY world, politics can’t exist without it. Right and wrong will always be defined and politics will always attempt to gray out that line.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

deer in the headlights...

i was wandering around walmart at 10:00pm on saturday and ran into a friend of mine. she looked at me, kind of shook her head, and said, "sorry i keep blinking. my eyes just don't want to stay open." i told her not to worry and that i was having a similar experience. at the time, i felt like i had the glossy-eyed, deer in the headlights-kind of look on my face. these are my theories as to why...
1) spuratic sleeping patterns
2) lack of vitamin d and/or sunshine
3) not sleeping at night
4) imbalanced blood sugar levels
5) christmas music at 3:00 am on Halloween night
6) i was wearing glasses-not contacts. the prescriptions are VERY different.
7) did i mention something about not sleeping?
my goals for the week to void the glaze are: a) sleeping (regularly-for decent amounts of time), b) eating (balanced meals that consist of more than almonds, cheese and crackers, and pear sauce), c) looking for sunshine (even on a cloudy day), and d) drinking vitamin d fortified milk. wish me luck...

Saturday, October 25, 2008

planning ahead...

I was talking to one of our patients at work this week and she suddenly stopped, looked at me, and with a look of dawning realization said 'you always know exactly what is going on 4 weeks from now, you always plan 4 weeks ahead.' It's true. That is what I do. I'm constantly setting appointments 4 weeks in advance. Keeping this in mind, Friday will be Halloween. 4 weeks from Thursday will be Thanksgiving. That will officially kick off the beginning of the Christmas season. Also that means my birthday is coming. There are so many great things that people do for Christmas and the Christmas season and more than anything I'd like to do them all, but I know my means and I know myself and therefore know that I can't do it all. Because my birthday is so close to Christmas, I try to choose one thing and treat myself to one thing for my birthday,the so-called gift to self. This is this year's list of things I could do for my birthday.
1) Tabernacle Choir Christmas concert
2) A Christmas Carol
3) Plaid Tidings
4) The Nutcracker
5) Muppet Christmas Carol/Homemade Eggnog Party
6) Bodyworlds 3 (not exactly Christmas-y, but fascinates me)
7) Buy myself WICKED tickets (they go on sale on my birthday)
8) Eat curry.
9) Start a "12 Days of Christmas" service project or movie festival
10) Peppermint Icecream (innumerable possibilities)
11) NOT see the TWILIGHT movie (pretty sure there was divine intervention there...)
Really, the possibilities are endless and THAT make me quite happy.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

I'm a purist.

1000 words
Round 2
Topic: The Sandlot
When I told my roommate that I was writing about THE SANDLOT she told me she’d never seen it. She then made two statements that made me think: 1) “When I say that I’ve never seen it, I really mean that I think I’ve seen it once, but don’t remember anything about it. It’s about kids and baseball . . . and a dog, right?...and the dog steals balls, right?” Yup. That’s the condensed version. You’re right. How does that work? Did you not just tell me that HADN’T seen the movie? Oh boy. Good to know that we now speak in contradictions…2) I heard that if you watch THE SANDLOT with a boy, you will get action. COMO!?! (Sorry. I just don’t know how to respond that one in English.) I guess that one will have to be left to research…
I’m not going to lie-I think THE SANDLOT is a great movie. “You’re killing me Smalls!” is a well-known and semi-frequented phrase in my vocabulary. I’ll never forget my freshman composition class (Matt Babcock’s English 101-winter 2001) in which we analyzed the “s’mores” scene during the explanatory writing unit. Ham does a great job of step by step instructions of the classic and simple childhood snack and is as patient as he can be with the blissfully na├»ve Smalls. But honestly…other than that, it’s kind of been a while since I’ve seen the show. When I was given the topic I decided firstly, that I should probably watch it again before I write about it, and secondly, I could probably own it and consider it a classic for future generations. Keeping those two thoughts in mind, I did what any money-conscious young adult would do and I hit Amazon and Ebay. After finding the dvd, I made a saddening discovery and went on somewhat of a rampage. (Thanks for listening Jeff!) Somewhere, in the middle of my 18-month hiatus from life and American culture, they made a SANDLOT 2!?! As if that weren’t enough, they went on to a SANDLOT 3! I think my actual, direct quote was “why? why would you do that!?!” Why would anyone want to take such a beautiful and simple classic example of childhood nostalgia and try to recreate it? I immediately swore that I would never watch the sequels. For why? Why would I do that to myself? I’m not a masochist. I find pointless viewings of useless sequels a waste of time and energy. My life is currently a little busy for that, so I dismissed them from my mind.
Like I said, life’s been a bit crazy the past week or so, but being the responsible car-driving adult that I am, I took the time to get my oil changed. Because of past experience (yes. I learn from past experience.), I went prepared to wait and took my trusty book (THE POISONWOOD BIBLE) with me to keep myself amused. As I entered the waiting room and settled in for some quality reading time, I observed my surroundings: one flat-screen TV showing the blank screen of an ended show, one teenage girl-texting to pass the time, one large coffee table with an assortment of picked-over magazines. Once again, I was grateful for the foresight to bring a book. Stealing the child-sized chair for a footrest—undoubtedly for the poor mother who suffers though the oil change praying that her children don’t eat the crayons that have been sitting on the matching table for who knows how long—I settled in for the wait. A few paragraphs into the malaria-stricken family, the blank TV flashed to life and before my eyes I was surprised by clips of THE SANDLOT. With the dawning realization came a giant belly laugh. I was highly amused. The irony was a little much for me to handle. The teenager across the waiting room chuckled politely and went back to the newly acquired READER’S DIGEST. Apparently, the crazy woman across the waiting room was a bit intense. Quickly, my amusement shifted to dismay as I realized that this version of THE SANDLOT was nothing but a counterfeit. I supposed the big sign that said SANDLOT 2 should have been a warning sign flashing “disappointment ahead!”, but for some reason I couldn’t tear myself away from it. It was like the accident on the side of the road, even though we know it’s going to be bad, we can’t pull ourselves away from it. Dang curiosity. Apprehensively, even skeptically, I continued watching for the next 30 minutes while they finished my car, and surprisingly, I walked away from it unscathed and perhaps even a better person. I realized a few things about the original SANDLOT that I hadn’t really thought about during previous viewings. The biggest thing in my mind was the obvious lack of the female presence. There are no girls. Okay, that’s not totally true. There are two: Wendy Peffercorn and Mom. Wendy-the idolized goddess of the swimming pool-is the door through which Squints takes a risk and tries to step into manhood. Yay for women as the classic sex symbol and the definition of masculinity as seen through them! Mom is the classic supportive mother and housewife of the 1960’s, predecessor to the Stepford wives of the 1970’s and of the Martha Stewart of the new millennium. The feminists of the world should have thrown a HUGE fit about these stereotypes of women. Maybe they did and I was just too young to notice, or maybe I was just too involved with the coming of age of the boys, but the SANDLOT 2 responds to these stereotypes. Hayley Goodfairer is the beautiful girl at school that manages to attract the attention of all the boys and still beats them at their own game. Her mother (Mrs. Goodfairer) is the politically correct feminist who strives to change the world around her. I was impressed by the writers’ attempt to correct the previous wrongs. Good for them! Really though, after mulling it over I decided that it really wasn’t that important. Equal rights were not the purpose of the original SANDLOT. At the end of it all I still get warm fuzzies watching Benny put on his PF Flyers to retrieve the coveted ball. I guess that makes me a purist.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

i don't know how i feel about this....

typically i laugh at these articles, and i did chuckle at this one, but immediately afterward, i said oh. that's no good. i guess that means i'm starting to catch on...
NYC National Debt Clock runs out of digits-see

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

why i will never be as great as charles dickens...

Charles Dickens was paid by the word. This is why we ended up with great works such as A TALE OF TWO CITIES and DAVID COPPERFIELD. Once upon a time, I was a decent writer. It’s been a while. After reading this, I’ve decided that I would have died had I lived the life of Dickens…this is random project I took on after making the same challenge to a friend of mine.
1000 words
Topic: Popsicles.
In all reality, I have million other things that I could or should be doing (like planning my life and deciding where exactly I want to go back to school, doing laundry, and visiting the parents and nephew), but really, I’d rather write about popsicles. I think it’s because in a weird way, they symbolize the reality of what I’m trying to do…consider this. Popsicles, while being a sweet and tasty refreshment, are meant to cool, sooth, and bring pleasure. Isn’t that our goal in life? To find pleasure and achieve a soothing balance of all the different aspects of the lives that we live? One of the guys I work with told me today that I need to change my attitude. I’m too negative. In light of my current negativity, think of it this way. When we eat popsicles, we are, in essence-chewing on a stick. The popsicle is the pleasurable part of quest to find the stick. It’s the procrastinator’s method to find the stick. I find it quite ironic that of all days, I would choose this one to write about popsicles. It snowed today. I broke out the winter wardrobe and dressed in long sleeves and pants. I did not care, I was warm. But back to popsicles, really we enjoy the sweet and tasty part, but subconsciously we always have the knowledge that there is always a stick in the middle, forcing us back to the reality of the end. I can put off the things that I really need to do, but they will always be there, like the stick in the middle of the popsicle. If I’m prepared for the stick, I can pull it out and use it for something useful (the classic bird house project at summer camp) or I’ll find myself with a sliver in my tongue…but really, that is not the topic. The topic is popsicles. I’ll start with a little history. (Gotta love Wikipedia…)
1905, 11-year-old Frank Epperson left out on his porch a mixture of powdered soda and water that contained a stir stick. That night, temperatures in San Francisco reached record low temperature. When he woke the next morning, he discovered that it had frozen to the stir stick, creating a fruit flavored 'icicle' ... a treat that he named his 'epsicle'. He then waited 18 years before releasing it to the public.
I love the fact that most genius ideas (popsicles included) are flat out accidents. It’s true. Mistakes are strokes of brilliance in disguise. The other thing I love about accidental inspiration is that for some reason, the inventors are under 20 years of age [Koolaid is in the same category]. Apparently it is okay for kids to make mistakes, face up to them, even embrace them, and make millions of dollars off of them. Adults have a pride issue and can’t admit to being wrong and end up hiding their mistakes rather than own up to them…fascinating. If they’d just admit to it, they’d have the opportunity to excel…just like the kids.
Really, the thing that infuriates me about this whole discovery is that he waited 18 years to release it to the public. What does this mean? Did it take him eighteen years to realize that he had made genius find in leaving his drink on the porch? Does it mean that the adults talked him out of sharing his idea? Does it mean that it took the adults 18 years to convince him that it was a good idea? Oh heavens, I’m deconstructing my own argument. Why would I do that? Ignore that question. Really, the point is, if you’ve got a good thing, why not share it? Seriously now. This man, or 11-year-old, had a life changing idea and decided to wait to benefit the world? Why would you do that? Since the day that the world was finally introduced to this genius concept, a snowball effect has spun nearly out of control to the point that one can purchase nearly anything frozen on a stick: dreamsicles, fudgesicles, ice cream bars, frozen fruit bars, etc (and that’s only the sweet stuff…). For some reason, the popsicle never really ages. Or maybe it would be more appropriately put as, the popsicle ages with you. As kids, my brother and I fought over the root beer and banana double pops. These days it is easy to find the childhood popsicles with the classic flavors of orange, purple, blue, yellow, red, and brown, but the industry had also adapted to the more sophisticated tastes as well. My personal favorite-frozen fruit bars. My current flavor of choice is strawberry-the whole fruit bar. AMAZING!!! It makes me feel like I’m actually doing myself a favor and eating fruit. More than making me healthy, it also makes me happy. What more could I want? It’s the adult version of my careless childhood days…
Not only has the popsicle has evolved nutritionally, but for convenience. As kids, I think we all loved to sit and eat our popsicles on the porch on a hot day. Half of the experience was trying to eat it without it dripping all over. In the fast-paced adult world that we live in, that is completely unacceptable. We don’t have time to sit on the porch and be dripped on. This has been solved in a few different ways, two of which being: 1) the thicker popsicle. The base of these tasty treats tends to be more than just water. They contain great substances such as whole fruit or cream (fudgsicles, jello pudding pops [which do NOT contain pudding?!? That’s another story for another day], creamies, etc); or 2) eliminating the stick. Yay for the stick-less popsicle. I’ll be the first to admit that I have a box of otter pops in my pantry. I’ll also admit that I coveted my best friend Siobhan’s three foot otter pop at age 9. (Okay, so maybe it wasn’t three feet, but had to have been at least two.) The me of 2008 does realize that they are nothing but frozen sugar water, but honestly, who can turn away names like SIR ISAAC LIME and PONCHO PUNCH. I’m sure that at some point I will realize that it’s okay for me to grow out of eating foods because I like their names, but in the mean time, I think I’m going to go put some otter pops in my freezer.
Now. Looking at my so called “brain vomit”-I do realized that my transitions are lacking, my ending is virtually nonexistent, and my voice changes from paragraph to paragraph, but you know what? I just wrote 1000 words. I haven’t done that in approximately 4 years. That makes me a little rusty, but also gives me all sorts of ganas (desires) to do it again. I’m open for ideas. Suggestions?

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

an addendum

just because i now find this absolutely hysterical...
there is a hole in my finger void of sliver
there are a bump and bruise on my left shin resulting from previously mentioned book case.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

If you can't beat'em...join'em.

Almost daily, I hear at least one catalog of injuries or pains. I suppose that is to be expected, working in a chronic pain management clinic, but I don't know exactly how I feel about that. If your always focused on the bad, that is all you will see. This morning I woke up and realized that I have my own little set of troubles and decided to blog about them. Why? I do not know. It seemed like a good idea at the time...
1) Insect bite. Right hand, between thumb and pointer finger. Swelling. Minor pain/irritation while holding writing utensils and attempting to write. Resulting from filling gas tank later in the evening.
2) Bruise. Right Upper Arm. Mostly healed. Hardly noticeable except for by vision. Resulting from mosquito bite earlier in the week. Potentially part of allergic reaction to previously mentioned mosquito.
3) Minor infection. Right hand, middle finger, second knuckle. Resulting from splinter received while helping friend put together newly purchased bookshelves from IKEA. At the time of injury, half of sliver was removed, but the infected portion was lodged deeper in the flesh and was inaccessible without specialized instruments.
4) Insect bite. Neck, left side. Severe itching and irritation. Dang mosquitoes.
5) Muscle soreness and spasms. Both legs-calves. Resulting from inadequate stretching previous to a 5-6 mile hike and followed immediately by minor chills due to being caught in a cloud burst and some mild canyon winds.
6) Puncture wound. Left foot. Directly under fourth toe. Caused by small glass shard inadvertently located in shag carpet just outside bathroom door. Profuse bleeding controlled by neosporin and band aid.
Okay. That's my current list of injuries and pains. Do I feel better for having done this? Not particularly. Will I do this again? Probably not. Well...maybe when my doctor requires me to do so. In the meantime, I'm pretty sure that I can come up with other things to keep myself entertained.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

warm fuzzy moment

As is typical for any given day at work, I spent quite a bit of time on the phone. This also means I spent quite a bit of time on hold. I've come to terms with it. I will learn patience by waiting for people, really, whether I want to or not. (another day ask me my theories on insurance companies and their corresponding hold/elevator music...fascinating.) As I was on the phone today I had a realization-I don't know that it fits in the "genius" category, but realization none the less. I made the mistake of wondering how many messages I leave on any given day. That lead to "I wonder how many people have me on their answering machine on any given day" and then it evolved to "I wonder how many scrapbooks I'm in that aren't my own," etc. Wow. That was kind of a crazy thought. How many times do we impact people without realizing it? With the whole switch to pre-authorizations at work, it's taken me away from the front desk more often than not. Yesterday I called one of our patients to set up an appointment for her and as we finished, she told me that she missed seeing me up front. Oh. Wow. Warm fuzzy. I'm missed! That's a happy thought. I guess I like to think that I could have had one of those moments where I unconsciously influenced someone for good...

Sunday, September 7, 2008

sooooo...i need to update this thing....hmmmm.......this kills me. i once had someone tell me, live a life that's novel worthy. i'd like to think that i do...that someday i will write a book about my life, but i don't know if that is the most promising idea that i've had in the past 5 years. i have all sorts of ideas, but if i can't remember them long enough to get them on a blog, how am i going to remember them long enough to get them in a book?!? good grief.
moving on...for christmas last year i gave my grandparents a "gift". i told them that i'd cook them dinner once a month for the next year. i do, and frankly, i enjoy it. today was one of those days. today, however, it turned into a service project on top of the dinner. i ended up transcribing a personal history while i was waiting for my lasagna to cook. i have honestly never met this woman and i probably won't ever meet her, but i'm not going to lie...i loved reading her stories. she made me mildly nostalgic for my childhood, but also made me completely amazed and amused by the child warnings and recalls that are announced every day. i have a new nephew. next week, he'll be one month old. a few days ago, we took him out on his first outing to target(monumental, i'm sure). as his mother and i walked down the baby aisle, we noticed three or four toys all on recall for some reason or another. becky made the comment that she wasn't sure that she wanted her kid to play with toys that could potentially be harmful. reverting back to the unknown woman and her personal history, this woman wrote about her favorite toys and childhood haunts. she used to play in the rafters in the roof of her house in all the electrical wires...she broke her nose jumping off that same roof...her plans for a swimming pool in the freshly dug hole for a septic tank...and my personal favorite, the basement that leaked water so she and her brother built a raft to play in the basement and once fell in...really? why were my toys not that cool?!? how is it that our parents and grandparents had the incredible toys with small pieces, lead-based paint, and random straps that could potential injure children with small body parts? why is it that when my basement flooded, i was restricted to the upper level until the water had been drained...i suppose with experience comes practicality...oh well.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

funny story...

Being new to the blogging world, I keep checking my blog hoping that someone else (perhaps Locke or Demosthenes?) has updated it. Funny how that works . . . or doesn't.

Sunday, August 17, 2008


I am a memeber of an online book club. We read books and we talk about them via the internet. This could be a good or a bad thing for me, considering I am somewhat of an over-analyst. If there is something to be found, I will find it. If there's not, I may create it anyway, just so I can have something to talk about. (This could be an indication that I talk way too much.) Recently, one of the girls in the club responded to one of our books via artwork. She looks to be some sort of graphic artist and based a piece on Marc Chagall's "The Village and I." Now-I will freely admit that I am not an artist. My stick figures could honestly use some help. This lack in ability may or may not have something to do with seperation that I have created between myself and art. I appreciate art and I really do enjoy standing in front of a picture and asking the timeless question "what does it mean?" (see, it's the analyst in me!),but creating art? That is an entirely different concept. Some express ideas and emotions through poetry. Some through music. I have recently come to terms with the fact that I am not one of those people. Strangely enough, it was a personality test. In career guidance in 9th grade, I was a hard red-those who know me well will chuckle at that thought. Recently, I took a different test that told me that I am a mastermind. Basically this means that I come up with the basic idea and I leave the rest to others. This explains my great plans but lack of execution. I'm not a great leader unless I have to be. I will let others work on the problem until I am completely satisfied that they can't do it on their own and then I'll step in. This is why I am not an artist. They take the idea and implement it. They may add some of their own personality to it, but the basic idea stands.
Keeping that thought in mind...this is my latest project.
Courtship as seen through the gentlemen of SENSE AND SENSIBILITY.
Jane Austen had a lot to say and an amusing way of putting it across. This concept is (quite contrary to the previous paragraph's rant) not my idea. This is actually my attempt at execution of someone else's idea. In all of my great experience I have learned that it is a dangerous idea to compare husbands according to their actions. The glorious part of this is the simple fact that I don't have a husband. Therefore I can freely compare and contrast these fictional characters and no one will get offended. These are some notes I jotted down the last time I watched the movie. Some of the comments are mine, some belong to my roommate, and some belong to the characters themselves. All in all, I hope someone can make sense of them...

Edward Ferras-
=too sedate=caring=a bit spineless=initially unclear expectations=apron strings=falters in keeping his word=half honest=the road to hell is paved with good intentions=he acknowledges his short comings=COWARD=ultimately honors his promises=marries for love=dutiful=tries to right the wrong (or at least apologize)=

Colonel Brandon-
=smitten=awe and admiration=offers help and not a solution=he wants better for her=attentive=focused on others=has ammunition to use and doesn’t=”kindest and best of men”=gives all he can=he made her better=

=”knight in shining armor”=courteous=asks permission for everything=bold=“takes liberty”=enigmatic=follows up=presumptious=”perfect man”=too similar/half of pertinent topics in 7 hours=exciting=commitment-phobe=tears down Brandon to build himself=avoids the repercussions=marries for money=

Mister Palmer-
=silent integrity=patient=realist=

This list fascinates me. Honestly, the characters that I dislike the most have some of the characteristics that I value the most. The characters that I adore, end up with some traits that drive me absolutely CRAZY!!! I guess this just proves that there is no one perfect person. There are mostly perfect people, but no perfect people. This also proves through a list of broken thoughts, the original concept of this post-that my thought process is broken and unpolished, but full of ideas to be expounded upon by others.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

word play

one of my favorite things to do is read the dictionary. i know, i'm a big nerd. i've come to terms with it, it's okay. this also means that i get really excited when words are added to the dictionary. a few weeks ago, i saw the little notice in the paper announcing the eleventh edition of the merriam-webster dictionary. yay for 100 new words!!! my top two favorites (thus far) are pescatarian-a vegetarian who eats fish and mondegreen-words mistaken for other words. how could one not be fascinated by a vegetarian (defined as a person who does not eat or does not believe in eating meat, FISH, fowl, or, in some cases, any food derived from animals, as eggs or cheese, but subsists on vegetables, fruits, nuts, grain, etc.) who eats fish? [i'm sensing a self-deconstruction in the near future.] or perhaps trying to classify the differences between "excuse me while I kiss this guy" and "excuse me while I kiss the sky"? i'm once again reminded of my linguistics class and totally intrigued by the noises that our mouths make and the subtle differences that make drastic changes in final outcomes. language is such a fascinating thing. how in the world do we make sounds, identify them, and then standardize them? who really has the power to do that?(that's another question for another day...) yay for the evolution of language! yes. there was a very good reason that i studied words...

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

red, white, blue . . . and green?

now to preface my 4th of July entry, i should start a few years ago. once upon a time in my life, i worked at dinosaur national monument. now, this was a very enlightening experience for me. i met a lot of people and established a few opinions. my father went so far as to declare me politically as a "conservative green". is that really possible? that's a bit beside the point. wait, back to the 4th of July. i decided, at the invitation of a good friend, to return to my small town roots for the holiday weekend. i grew up in a small town, passed many holidays in even smaller towns, and have spent most of the time completely amused and entertained by the activities found there. this year, i found no less in richfield. they have what is called the "fish grab". (if you want a visual, try basically, kids 0-11, are given the opportunity to catch a fish with their bare hands. fascinating, no? yeah, that's what i thought. i'll admit i found it quite amusing for about 5-10 minutes until i saw what was actually happening to the fish. as displayed in the youtube clip, the little kids walked while the fish swam. my view was of the other end of the scale, the 9-11 year old kids. i saw one of the older kids with blood smeared across his chest and a rather large fish hooked on his finger. this picture, which will be forever ingrained in my mind, could be interpreted a few ways: 1) the kid picked a fight with his best friend when he tried to rip off the prize trout; 2) the poor fish was beaten to death (i'm telling you, the 9-11 year old kids have a pretty violent streak in them!); or 3) it was actually a mercy killing rather than letting the poor fish suffocate (if they can really do that) in his hands. really it could have been any of the three choices, but the thing that hit me more than the fish or the blood occured after i saw it all. i turned around and said two things, "i can't watch this anymore" and "those poor fish". as i made the "those poor fish" comment, something happened that surprised me and resurrected my green streak...someone agreed with me!?! not that i have anything against richfield, but that shocked me, especially considering the source of the consent. it was the stereotypical middle-aged-white-male-in-a-texas-ball-cap who surely spent everyday of his childhood summers fishing and tormenting small animals. really?!? i suppose all of us have a little green in us, whether we believe it or not. kermit the frog probably said it best, "it's not easy being green."

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

why would you do this to your children?

my brother and sister-in-law are expecting their first child in august. this means that we have been throwing names around, trying to find the perfect fit for the next addition to the williams clan. in the midst of this search we've come across some fascinating names. my response is: really? is this necessary? why would you do this to your children? . . .
jackie sparrow
harry barber
sandy beach
kimberly wimberly
larry burg (think professional basketball)
michael jordan (short white guy who can't jump)
pleasant duck (yes . . . he's a man)
honestly, these names amuse me. some of them are not bad names, but given social context-they do fit in the unfortunate category.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Brain Vomit (An Introduction)

One of my greatest flaws in my writing style is my transitions-or perhaps my lack thereof. As a student, my writing was only as smooth as WARM SPRINGS at 2CFS (see the yampa river). I remember specifically working on one and it was spotted in one reading. I have a choppy thought pattern. I like to attribute it to my adult on-set, self-diagnosed ADD. Initially, I wanted to name my blog "brain vomit". Unfortunately or fortunately, depending on your view, the title had already been used. Honestly, you're still going to get it-hopefully in a more organized form. (not-likely though). Here's on of my favorite exerpts:
Brain Vomit (part2) 11-29-2007
o. . . this brain vomit is a bit different. so many things have happened in the past few weeks that something needs to be recorded. why? i don't know. actually . . . one compromiso to one sister missionary from Germany would do it. the promise to "remember" may have something to do with it. props to pte eyring. so many things have happened to help me remember my blessings and the power of god. pain medication is a powerful powerful thing. this power can be used for good and bad. it makes mean people. it causes a semi-irresponsible adult to pull a knife to show that he has "power". it makes unstable people even less stable even though in their own sight they have all the power in the world. sweet is the peace the gospel brings. one small blue pill can change the world. "xanax makes me grumpy (says the man with the six inch blade)" "this is the utah valley regional emergency room. the highway patrol asked us to call and tell you that your 12:30 appointment is not going to make it. he took a xanax before driving and there has been an accident." "will you marry me? it's sad to see so many women striving for other things in the world-actually, i just want you to be able to say that you have been proposed to under the marriage tree." "you served a mission-didn't you?" wow. there are so many experiences that so many people should have. so many blessings that are waiting for us. hmmmmmmmmmmm. i need to read and go to bed so that i can be worthy of the blessings that await me. sacrifice brings forth the blessings of heaven. is it worth it? only we can decide. we progress only as far as we want to. iguanadon. soft water in iowa. so many things to learn and so little time. progress now. this is when progression truly happens. with all the love that fills my heart.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

I'd like to think I could . . .

For the past few years of my life, I have been working on a list of goals for my life. Not the "ultra-cool-things-that-I-must-do-before-I-die" type-goals, but the "I-really-could/should-do-these-things-because-they-would-be-good-for-me" type. Here are a few examples:
1) I'd like to think I could eat fish and like it.
2) I'd like to think I could teach school.
3) I'd like to think I could write social commentary.
4) I'd like to think I could develop a political opinion.
5) I'd like to think I could remember German and learn a fourth language.
6) I'd like to think I could drive a bus from Punta Arenas, Chile to Lincoln, NE.
7) I'd like to think that I could sit down and watch a football game, fully understanding the game itself and care about its outcome.
8) I'd like to think that I could be domestic.
9) I'd like to think that I could be a runner.
I suppose this blog is a response to #3. Honestly, I'm not really planning on writing a lot of social commentary. I'd probably do a horrendous job of it. I will admit though that many times in my life, I have had experiences that I just wanted to respond to on paper (ie, swathing, being imprisioned in my own home in Chile, being snowed-in in Cheyenne, etc). This could be a great opportunity (I hope) to get those thoughts out. I had a good friend once tell me that I would be the next Dave Berry. I don't add this comment to suggest that I could ever be nearly as opinionated or as humorous as that . . . I'd probably have to develop some solid opinions first, but I guess I add it as a warning or preface to this blog. I write like I talk. It's not always coherent, but like to think that others could benefit from or enjoy it. Happy reading . . . .