Saturday, January 31, 2009

I have to quit answering questions...

I was at work one day and one of our patients requested to speak with me. I was in the back, but I came out the following conversation ensued. (Names have been changed for HIPPA compliance.)
Larry: I have to preface this by "I'm getting married."
Me: Really? Congratulation! That's so exciting!
Larry: But I just have to know-are you married?
Me: No.
Larry: Engaged?
Me: No.
Larry: Dating someone?
Me: No-contentedly single.
Larry: I saw you wearing a ring...
(I wore a ring once. It was April Fool's Day.)
Me: No, I don't wear jewelry. -showing my hands for proof-
Larry: Well, I just want you to know-I think you are a beautiful woman and I love your personality. And I really wanted to ask you out once, but I couldn't get the guts to do it.
Me: (What the junk?!?) Oh.
Larry: I have to know. If I had asked you out, would you have said yes?
Me: I don't know Larry. I was kind of dating someone there for a while. It depends on where things were with that.
Larry: Oh...okay.
Now. Adding a little more detail to the story, Larry is 41. I...am not. To quote our dear friend Charlie Brown, "GOOD GRIEF!"-how the devil do I get myself into these things? I know-it really isn't my fault. Sometimes things just happen. (yay for opportunities for learning and growth.) But this is my concern, THE MAN WAS ENGAGED!!! Is there no commitment in that?!? Seriously now...some are concerned by lack of importance that people are placing on marriage and the home and family. Frankly, after this experience (and others-Larry isn't the only offender) I'm not surprised. Until people value their word and the commitments that they have made, there will always be a reason for concern. But in the mean time...we know that I'm amused to say the least.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.
Virginia Satir

Sunday, January 25, 2009

this weeks goals

1) get a better attitude about cold and sleet.
2) find a GOOD recipe for minestrone.
3) run 4 days this week.
4) finish alice in wonderland.
5) keep a clean space on my floor.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

tribute to my nephew.

Thanks to my nephew, I am currently baby-sitting for the first time since I was 16 years old. That was a while ago. Luckily, we have an understanding. I'll be the cool aunt as long as he behaves himself. So far...it's working out perfectly. He's sleeping his little heart out and I still have all my hair. (He has entered the "grabby" phase. I forgot and wore it half down.) Babies have quite the talent for creating nostalgia and pensiveness in peoples lives and I will freely admit I am not immuned to it all. When I'm with him, I want to secure my title as 'the coolest and favorite aunt' so I'm always planning things for us to do and things I'll get to teach him. I think I've got dinosaurs in the bag (three years at Dinosaur National Monument will educate anybody.) Books? I'm all over it! Recently, however, I have realized that there is a huge deficiency in my "cool aunt" knowledge. The whole super-hero bit?...well, let's just say I have some work to do on that one. I remember playing "concentration" at a family reunion and getting burned by my cousin in the "super hero" category. I'm sorry, but more than Adam West's original BATMAN with the POW! BAM! and WHACK!-I'm kind of uneducated. Frankly, it never really interested me. For some reason, the past 6 months I have been fascinated by them. I think it all stems from THE DARK KNIGHT, but I don't really know for sure. Coincidentally, I still haven't seen it, but have every intention to do so. In my over-analyst way of doing things, I have recently decided that there has to be more them than fictional characters trying to save the world in body suits and tights. I then set out to find a deeper meaning and I will gladly report that I did find one. (These theories are based purely on my recent viewing of BATMAN BEGINS and SPIDERMAN.)
*Of what use is a super hero without a villain?
Spiderman was considered a menace to society until the Green Goblin showed up. Batman never took on all petty thieves of Gotham City by himself, he only stepped in when there was a REAL threat.
*As of late, one of my favorite thoughts/concepts is that "any idiot can survive a catastrophe, but it takes a real man to survive the day-to-day." Now, don't think that I don't appreciate a good super hero, because I do, but I wonder what they themselves think of it. For example, when given the opportunity, Spiderman refused MJ because he was concerned for her wellness. Rachel refused Batman for the similar reasoning.
Really...I'm currently fascinated. Nephew and I have a lot of learning to do. I do understand that there are 2 uncles in the family that may very well take over the super-hero education,but frankly, I like learning myself. I think it's good for me. And super-heroes amuse me.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

the greatest (and simplest) year EVER!!!

for some reason, this year i've felt a great need to establish some good new year's resolutions. frankly, this baffles my mind. at one point, my father told me that one major difference between my brother and i was the fact that he was really goal oriented and i am not. (hence the lack of resolutions in my life.) a few years ago i set one resolution and that was to read THE MIRACLE OF FORGIVENESS. i actually did it. yay me. the next year, my resolution was to get in shape and read JESUS THE CHRIST. not going to lie-those resolutions fizzled...rapidly. this year, however, i have felt an aberrant motivation to set some goals. i suppose this could result from some of the resolutions that i have heard others set for this year-for example:
1) the 18-year-old heroin addict that tells his mom he's going to get clean this year;
2) the woman who is tired of never completing her resolutions sets the resolution to make and keep weekly goals rather than the BIG 5 for the year;
3) "the plunger of shame"-a roommate goal to get healthy in 2009; or
4) the sleep-deprived woman who says she's going to sleep more.
be it because of one of these goals, or some internal need for progression, goals have been on my mind for the past 18+ days. i'd thought about them to the point of giving up on articulating them in way that any brain besides my own could comprehend. ultimately, it was a talk in sacrament meeting today that solidified my thoughts. the topic was 'if ye are prepared, ye shall not fear'. our high councilman talked about how having an attitude of optimism reinforces the faith necessary to feel peace in an uncertain world.(wow. that sounded long and complicated. really, it wasn't.) the thing that stood out in my mind was that we should do something daily to prepare ourselves physically, mentally, and spiritually. (PERFECT!!! he stated it so well!) with my current job, i don't feel like i'm progressing like i could/should/want to. i realize this because i come home emotionally hammered, but that's just about it. i don't feel like my brain has been stretched. i lay in bed at night with something nigh unto restless leg syndrome and think "wow. i should stand more." really-living in a world that is full of nothing but emotions is highly over-rated and frankly, painful. for this cause, i am setting one, 3-part resolution for myself this year. i will do one thing daily to better myself physically, mentally, and spiritually. i don't know whether that means that i will be running a marathon or taking the stairs this year. really, i may go back to school this year, or could just read more REAL books and less fluff. i could read all the sunday lessons before sunday, or i could write my own topical guide with cross-references to catholicism, judaism, and/or evangelical doctrines. i think, this is why i love 2009. the possibilities are endless. i can make of this year exactly what i want it to be. i just hope that i take advantage of every opportunity that i am given and make the most of it.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

moments of bliss...

today was my work christmas party. yes, i do realize that it january. we went snow shoeing. it was my moment of bliss for the week. i was perfectly happy. god's creations, good friends, amazing food...total contentment.

Friday, January 16, 2009

observations...

because i have no idea as to what i want to be when i grow up, i have been re-evaluating my life and what i want to do with it. always an adventure. these moments are always exciting-not going to lie. really, the final conclusion i have for this week is that i just need to be aware of the opportunites/options that i have in my life. these are some of my most recent thoughts.
1) as cool as modern medicine is, laughter is a million times better.
2) i'm a horribly superficial friend. (ask me straight up, i'll tell you exactly why i'm using you.)
3) it's all about the lord's timing.
4) my attitude/response is really the ONLY thing i can control in some situations. make the best of it.
5) it really is in my mentality/ability to do anything i want to (case in point, the "i'd like to think i could"s).
there really are so many other things that i've realized, but because my brain has reached a ludicrusly low level of usage/comprehension (my brain age on the nintendo ds is 73), they aren't currently floating around in my brain patterns. i'm sure they'll come out another time.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

lessons from mozart.

Tonight I went to the symphony and had a few realizations. Initially, my thought of a symphony is a hall full of 80-90 musicians all playing the original works of Mozart, Beethoven, or some other classic composer. The first piece they played tonight diffused that idea completely. It was a modern piece. I liked it a lot. The thing that really caused me to think was the actual number of musicians on the stage. There couldn't have been more than a dozen. There was one of everything except the violin (there were two). This gave me the opportunity to realize the power of good acoustics in a musical hall. I was in the back corner of the first tier-not exactly close to the stage, but I heard every instrument, every pluck of every string. I was amazed. The music was beautiful. I also remembered an article I once read about a woman in a choir. She was lamenting the fact that she wasn't the lead soprano, but was a supporting alto. She was saddened by the fact that she wouldn't shine in the performance, but then had the realization that the performance couldn't go on without her. Every note counts and the notes that she sang, while not the lead solo, were important to the song. It would be incomplete without her. Awwww. Warm fuzzy moment. Anyhow...other thoughts that I had resulting from my night of finer things...
1) I was destined to play the timpani.
2) Concert hall's have some pretty incredible acoustics.
3) The cymbal and the triangle, while very different, both have a sound that carries quite well.
4) Music has an INCREDIBLE influence on the mentality and demeanor of people.
5) Musicians are their own class of people.
6) I should never play the timpani...I'd probably hit myself in the head with the mallet.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

quality time...

"how i've spent my quality time this week" or "my mother would be so proud"
point 1)
hi. i pride myself in my recent trend in agility-and when i say recent, i mean the past 8-9 years. when i was a young one, if there was a patch of ice with in a mile radius, i could find it and flatten myself on it. i then spent some time in rexburg, idaho. ha. anyone who knows rexburg, idaho knows that ice is a way of life and the only way to successfully survive a storm there is to admit your own inadequacy and work around it. (that's code for-i fell twice in a month and then learned how to live with it. haven't fallen since.) this month, i have met my match. my current parking lot is an accident waiting to happen. yesterday, after an extra long day at work, i came home with the simple desire of dinner and a nap. i parked on the far side of the parking lot with the intent of parking on a dry spot and not an ice rink. mission accomplished. five steps later, i was on my hands and knees. the khaki's were no longer khaki and my knee currently has a bluish tint to it. happiness. so much for the trend, right? i choose to consider it quality one-on-one time with my parking lot. we're friends, right? yeah, that's what i thought.
point 2)
my mother taught me well as a small child. my room always has the appearance of cleanliness for one simple reason-i make my bed daily. for some reason, an orderly bed gives the appearance of organization and tidiness. the past week has not been an example of that. coming home from the holiday, my flight was delayed and seriously...it threw off my whole week. instead of having time to get a good nights sleep and unpack before returning to work, i ended up crashing on a couch and going back to work in travel clothes. happiness, i know. i emptied my suitcase and life just kept going. last night, i finally got caught up. when i finally made my bed i found the following things inside: 3 tubes of lotion, 1 pillow, 1 wash cloth, 1 hat, 1 stick of chapstick, 2 decks of cards, 1 flashlight, and an assortment of papers and receipts. good grief! i've been sleeping in a junk drawer. i'm sorry. it had to stop. i cleaned my room. yay me! i did my laundry and finally UNPACKED! it took a while, had to find the quality moment, but i think my mother would have been proud.

Monday, January 5, 2009

ridiculous.

it's 20 degrees warmer today than it was yesterday, thereby enabling the most recent 6+ inch snowfall. i can't feel my toes.