Monday, January 21, 2013

My mission made me.

This is a comment that I believe I heard from one my institute teachers many years ago.  I was just getting ready for my mission so the thought stuck with me.  The mission was enigma to me because I had heard variations on that comment so many times.  I knew it was important. I knew it was a big deal.  I knew it would change a lot of things in my life, but I had no idea exactly HOW it would work.  I have since learned that you can't really explain it.  I worked hard for 18 months.  I came home exhausted and then it was over.  New callings came. New employment came.  I learned to apply the things I learned on the mission to the life that I was currently living, but I don't know that I felt exactly "made". I was just me, perhaps a little better, but still hopelessly flawed.
Flash forward 7 years. Here I am.  Still me. Still hopelessly flawed.  Still trying to learn/perfect things that I learned on the mission and in life since then.  Did I mention still flawed? Yup. Still flawed.  Now encountering an entirely new part of the world as I know it.  Special Needs Mutual.  The calling that I rave about to anyone that listens.  The calling that must have been inspired because the uninspired would have been mad to put me there.  The calling that has not just made me, but saved me.
I walked into the calling and the only things that people could really tell me about it were: 1) it's so much fun! (who's not up for fun?!?); and 2) there is so much love in the calling. I knew how to love.  I'm part of an amazing family that has shown me so much love.  I served a mission. I've been a Relief Society president.  I've got this under control, right?
Nope. Not a chance.  If anything, I've learned exactly how little I knew before.  I have the awesome blessing to learn from and love those who are truly chosen in the Lord's eyes. As I was set apart by a member of the stake presidency, he reminded me that these kids were the leaders in the war in heaven.  They are being protected from the world by their conditions and their broken shells of bodies.  I can learn much from them, their examples, and their Christ-like love.  And oh boy, have I.  We had a visiting ward come in last week and bring us an activity for mutual. As we cleaned everything up and sent our kids home, we found two Beehives (12 year old girls) that looked like they had been crying.  One of the other leaders asked them if they were okay.  Their response was that the kids spirits were so strong, it was beautiful.  I couldn't have said it better.  They were only there for an hour. Maybe an hour and a half.  I get to see these kids every week.-see their smiles, look into their eyes, and know that there is more in that body than we can see with our worldly eyes.  These kids have taught me to love. They give the best hugs!!! They have pulled me out side of myself and made me aware of the world around me. The have given me the opportunity to love and serve them, and in doing so have given me the blessings that my Heavenly Father has been waiting to give me when I was ready to receive them.  For that I will always be grateful...

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

flashback to childhood.

I've been having a hard time blogging the past few months.  I just haven't felt like I've had anything remotely interesting or profound to say. I opened blogger tonight to find 3 unfinished drafts of posts that are now all out of date. I guess I'm feeling inspired because of the new year because I have recently had a rush of genius ideas.
Last night I had a flashback to my childhood. I was amused to say the least. I was checking out at the grocery store as a mother with 3 kids was checking out in the aisle next to mine. As I walked out of the store, I followed the older two (boy about 5 and girl about 3) around the corner to the ice freezers. By the time I got there the little girl had climbed half way into the freezer and brother was trying to pull her out.  Did I mention that it was maybe 5 degrees outside? I guess it's not often that we climb into freezers to get warm. Did this happen in my childhood? No. But the kids reminded me or my brother and I.