I got a message from an old mission companion. Apparently President Faulkner's birthday is coming up and his daughter is trying to collect letters and emails from his missionaries as a gift. I decided that I should probably keep a copy for me.
Hola Presidente!
Happy Birthday! (only the best
people have birthdays in December!) I've thought about writing you
letters many times over the past couple of years, but never really knew
exactly how to get it to you. I know, "no hay excusos", but life just
happens sometimes.
The first letter I was going to
write you was a couple Christmas' ago. We got a new stake president and
Elder Cook came to the meeting. In his Saturday night talk, he spoke
about missionaries and why and how they are assigned. It echoed
something I heard in the MTC. Basically, he said that many times we are
assigned not necessarily where we can do the most good, but with the
mission president that can do us the most good. I know...no pressure
there. You did good. I learned so much. Funny how 10 years (can we
really say that!?!) can really put things into perspective.
*"No hay excusos" applies to so many more things than obedience as a missionary.
*The church's statement in November about children of same sex parents rocked the world. I've been working with the youth for the past 3 years and one of my young women asked me what I thought of the new policies. Because of experiences I had on the mission (specifically when we started baptizing families and not just people), I was able to give her a coherent answer and invite her to ask the Lord for her own understanding and peace. (She found the peace she needed and just got a mission call!)
*"No hay excusos" applies to so many more things than obedience as a missionary.
*The church's statement in November about children of same sex parents rocked the world. I've been working with the youth for the past 3 years and one of my young women asked me what I thought of the new policies. Because of experiences I had on the mission (specifically when we started baptizing families and not just people), I was able to give her a coherent answer and invite her to ask the Lord for her own understanding and peace. (She found the peace she needed and just got a mission call!)
*Hna Faulkner always told me to write down
experiences that I had so that I wouldn't forget them. (That applies
more now, but I'll get to that in a little bit.)
A few
months ago a heard about your cancer. That was another letter that I
was going to write you. I even bought a card for you and promptly lost
it on my desk. (I promise that I'll send it when I finally find it.) I
wanted to thank you for everything, your love, your support, your
sacrifice, your hard words (sometimes I needed to hear them),
EVERYTHING! I know, the mission doesn't need to be the best 18 months,
but I would easily call them some of the most influential months of my
life. You were part of that and you made sure that I was a part of that.
The
most recent letter that I almost sent (and I guess that I am sending)
came about a month after I found out about your cancer. My mom was
diagnosed with pancreatic cancer at the end of September. I'll agree
with your daughters favorite hashtag, #CANCERSUCKS. As hard as it has
been, I haven't been angry. I've never blamed the Lord and I've never
questioned His plan. Sometimes I wonder if that is active faith or an
emotional apathy, but I'm sure I'll get that sorted out eventually. I
guess the reason that I wanted to tell you that is because I wanted your
advice on what I could do for her. You've been there. You've done the
chemo thing. You know what it feels like. I don't. I'm in Utah and
she's in Nebraska and I want to help and be supportive, but it's a
little more difficult when there are 2 states between you. I know that
the Lord is with her and taking care of her and I've seen more miracles
over the past 3 months that I have at any other time since my mission.
He's with me. He's taking care of me. He's giving me the opportunity to
see and remember these miracles. I've been writing a lot more lately
and it has been good to remember and even more than that it's been
therapeutic! Who would have guessed!?! (Thanks Hermana!)
I
mentioned active faith and emotional apathy. This is something that
I've been thinking about for a few years. For a while, I adopted "life
happens" as a mantra. I had a job that I didn't love and didn't feel
like I was progressing in my life. I decided it was depressing. I found
Romans 8:38-39 "For
I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor
principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor
height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us
from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Life does
happen. Cancer happens. Bad jobs happen. Single adulthood happens. So
many things happen that could easily make us unhappy, upset and even
angry. Just because these things happen doesn't mean that they have to
separate us from our Heavenly Father. We can choose to see His love and
His guiding influence or we can choose to not. I choose to find His
love.
I hope you and your family are finding that love too.
Merry Christmas!
and
Happy Birthday!!!
Much love,
