I know. What exactly does that mean? I have an answer. Approximately 12 years ago I took organ lessons with my mother and brother. Pipe organs use "stops" in the pipes to change the pitch, tone, and quality of the sound. "Pulling out all the stops" lets ALL the air go through: full effort, no restrictions.
This is how I'm currently feeling. New life: full effort, no restrictions, HOLDING BACK NOTHING. For the 5 of you that read this that are not family members, a little back ground-I have just moved in with my grandmother. Now, what exactly does that mean? I'll tell you what that means. That means I'm still working at the good old doctor's office. It means I live in a blissfully quiet neighborhood with very few distractions so that theoretically I could study for the GRE and go back to school like I've wanted for the past few years. THEORETICALLY being the key word there. Approximately 5 times over the past week, I've had the same conversation with my mother (bless her for listening) about the education that I'm currently receiving. I can't take classes on this and there isn't a college out there that will give me credit for what I'm currently learning. But I have decided that there is merit to the "all your heart, might, mind, and strength" concept. It's not an inverse relationship: the more I give, the more I get.
For example: My relationship with my grandmother.
When I was 19-20 I heard, "I was married by the time I was your age" for the first time. When I was 20, she told my parents she'd give me $5 just to smile at a boy. I'm not an overly social person and I'm okay with that. I'm happy the way I am. I have, however, always felt mildly inadequate in comparison to my cousins who are married or always dating someone, and because of that have kept my social life/calendar completely underground when it comes to Grandma. Now, the whole moving in with Grandma part...this is where it gets (or could get) highly complicated. I could keep myself completely secretive/reclusive, or I could talk to her. I was talking to a friend about the move and he reminded me what a blessing it could be because of all the things I could learn from her. Taking his advice, I've pulled out all stops and have had some great conversations with my grandmother that I wouldn't change for anything. She is a truly great woman and she has some pretty intense trials coming her way, but at the same time, this is my chance to give back to her-thank her for all the things she has done for me and my family. It's not an easy move. Old people a quirky and set in their ways, but let be honest here, I am too. The trick is serve selflessly, pulling all the stops, and the blessings will come at the same ratio.
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I didn't live with my grandmother, but I did stay a few nights with her during Thanksgiving, and we had some good late night talks as well. I thought she would tell me to get married, because she was always telling me what a "nice young man" she knew here or there. She actually told me I should wait until I was at least 25 to get married (I think I was 23 at this time). I felt relieved just knowing that the pressure was off from her1431q22 (Caleb added his two cents at the end...)
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