I don't know how many parts there are going to be to this segment, but today we had the ceremonial lighting of our Halloween Pumpkin. I felt the urge to sing (like unto the Olympic Fanfare), but in bout of performance anxiety I couldn't think of a single Halloween song. I think at some point I learned SOMEthing. Carla-lady taught me music for 10+ years...you'd think I'd have learned at least ONE song, but nothing. I had absolutely nothing. Grandma, being the fantastic lady and never-ending font of primary songs that she is, stepped up with a song about a little jack-o-lantern sitting in a pan waiting to go into the oven. I thought it was sufficient if not appropriate.
I had a realization today. In Sunday School we were discussing Spirtual, Temporal, and Emotional Self Reliance. I had some fascinating thoughts. On my mission I felt like I got a decent understanding of spiritual self reliance and why it is important. It's amazing to see how a testimony can change and govern a person. I won't say I'm exempt to trials, but I do know that when they come there is reason in "if ye are prepared ye shall not fear." Temporally, I understand the necessity of food storage, emergency preparedness, and staying out of debt (ps as of 2 weeks ago Bojangles is officially paid off and and I'm officially debt free!). Emotional self reliance, however, was a new concept for me. And I think I liked it. It's something that I've been struggling with since I moved in with Grandma. My parents had no problem with voicing their concerns about me moving in with Grandma because I wouldn't have anyone to share the burden with. Dad had Mom, Brady had Becky, Aunt Dorice had Uncle Bob...I had my...blue blanket? Don't get me wrong, I've had amazing friends and family supporting me through all of this, but I guess it's not quite the same. I guess the realization that I had today is that emotional self reliance isn't about having someone who knows me, and what I'm thinking, and what I'm feeling. I mean, it would be nice. I'm not against it by any means, but emotional self reliance is a little different...maybe more than that. Emotional self reliance isn't necessarily being SELF reliant, but being reliant on the Lord. Really, He is the ideal one. He knows everything and has all the answers and is totally willing to give comfort and the needed blessings.
Now. Here's the real question. How do I share this with Grandma?
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Say hey grandma what did you learn in sunday school this week, this is what i learned. Pretty simple...that member missionary work stuff isn't just for speaking up and just opening your mouth to non members, its for everyone :)
love your guts!
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