I visit my grandmother daily. Wait a minute, let's back up here. Grandma had a full knee replacement four days after Christmas. Since then she's had all sorts of ups and downs, including an unspecified number of stitches (I think the direct quote was, "you don't want to know") after an unplanned trip to the ER and a completely unrelated infection in her knee. Needless to say, she's in a rehab center. There's absolutely NO WAY that I could take care of this on my own. I'm grateful for the people that work in the center and help her. I've been amazed by the love and support of her family and friends. Almost every time I go over to visit, she has company or else someone has just left. It's still just hard. I feel like a bad person everytime that I leave her there all by herself. I don't know how to respond when she says, "Tess, why won't you come get me? Why did you have to leave?" I understand that really, there's only so much that I can do. I can't take away her pain. I can't fix it. I can only be there when I can be there. I'm not collecting social security or retirement. That means that I have to work. I try to be as sympathetic as I can, but at the same time am trying to balance sympathy and not get sucked into her depression. In the mean time, here I sit. I suppose it's one of the best lessons that I can have on charity and Christ-like love.
In the mean time...there's nothing like a personal "Climb Every Mountain" moment complete with a goods friends and yodeling. I heart my snowshoes.
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