Thankful Sunday...Perspective

I went snow shoeing with a couple of friends yesterday.  Quiet and nature have a tendency to make me think.  We were talking about books when one of us stopped rather dramatically to look at a bug making it's way across the snow.  It was probably in the 40s, but she was still flabbergasted by the fact that the bug was not hibernating, but wandering around on the snow.  When she stopped to inspect it, it quit moving and the thought came to my mind that it was trying to blend in. You know...with the dirt. If I don't move, they won't see me, yes? Then for some reason I thought of the life span of a bug. That poor bug probably won't know anything other than a world covered with snow. While I love winter, I can't imagine a life with nothing but winter. It made me exceptionally grateful for a lifespan that allows for seasons-multiple times over. I'm grateful that I live in a part of the world that has seasons.  There's nothing quite like a summer evening.  There's nothing like a first snowfall. There's nothing quite like a meadow covered with snow. Lucky me gets them all.
Other moment of perspective.  I went to the movies on Friday night.  I saw Mary Poppins Returns. It won't win any awards. It won't change the world. I enjoyed it very much and it was exactly what I needed.  As I have been setting goals for this year and for my life the question that keeps crossing my mind is 'What do I need?' I don't know. I guess that's why it's the question for the year. I had a perfect moment of clarity while I was sitting in the dark, watching the street lighters dance and do tricks on their bikes. That's what I need. I need to slow down, enjoy a movie, spend time with those dear to me, and listen and watch for those moments of clarity.  They're there. The trick is to watch for them.

Thankful Sunday...

I'm thankful that the government is up and running again. I hope that the powers that be can continue to work together.

Thankful Sunday: Rexburg, Idaho

I just got home from a fabulous weekend. Traditionally this is my girl power weekend. For the past 3 years, I have gone to Bryce Canyon with a dozen women who are brilliant, successful, happy, and inspiring.  We have skied, snow shoed, and hiked. We play games and laugh and learn and grow from each other. It's one of my favorite weekends of the year.  Due to the current government shutdown and some crazy schedules, we opted to not go to Bryce this year. One of these dear friends of mine just purchased a house in Rexburg, Idaho.  She teaches at BYU-Idaho. We decided to go check out her new home take advantage of the great Idaho snow at Mesa Falls and Harriman State Park.  It was a fabulous weekend. Somehow, in the planning of this weekend, I missed the fact that I was going BACK to Rexburg. It didn't hit me until we got off the freeway. I went to Ricks College and BYU Idaho. I started the process of defining myself as an adult.  I learned how to live with people who were not immediate family.  I made new friends, some of whom are still my friends 17 years later. (It's mind-boggling that I can say that.) I learned how to think for myself. I learned how to find people who agree with me. I learned how to deal with people who disagree with me. I was hit with a wave of nostalgia when I saw the hill. There's a temple on the horizon now and there isn't a place in the world that isn't more deserving of it.
This weekend only made my love of southeast Idaho stronger. We snowshoed in a beautiful storm, clear air, and with great company. We ate good food (Big Juds!!!), played games, and new to the weekend, we did yoga (one of the girls is a counselor for battered women and children and a therapeutic yoga instructor. She wins ALL the points.) I came home relaxed and rejuvenated. I'm so grateful for a Heavenly Father who loves me. He sent me to Rexburg when I needed to be there so I could meet the people that I needed to meet. He has given me the friends that I need now to get me through my current set of trials. I am watched over and blessed and grateful for it.

Thankful Sunday: Books. Good books.

Yesterday I woke up without an alarm clock and planned to not leave my bed until I finished reading a book that I had had been given for Christmas.  I did leave my bed briefly to eat pancakes, (shout out to the roommate for that one!) but returned quickly to finish TASTING THE SKY: A PALESTINIAN CHILDHOOD. Not going to lie...this is not what I typically would have picked off the shelf at the library or the bookstore, but I'm grateful for friends with different taste from my own. The protagonist found a friend as a refugee during the Six-Day War in a piece of chalk.  Her friend was Alef, the first letter of the Arabic alphabet.  As time went on and she learned and grew, she realized that Alef had other friends and that she was able to find another world in letters and words.  How many times has this happened to me?!  Throughout my life, I have found many friends through letters and words, the March sisters, the Alden siblings, Huckleberry Finn, the Bennets and Darcys and Bingleys, Reuven Malter and Danny Saunders, there are entire worlds...I think I could literally list a thousand friends that I have found through books. I have found strength in their struggles. I have found peace in their wisdom.  I am grateful that I found a love for them all at an early age and that love has continued with me into adulthood.

Thankful Thursday...

As I thought about goals that I would like to set for this year, one thing that kept crossing my mind was gratitude.  I've been doing a lot of thinking and studying on the power of positivity and the changes that gratitude cause in my attitude.  I had a friend that for a couple of semesters had a "Thankful Thursday" every week and posted one thing that she was grateful for.  I wanted to do that this year however Thursday came and went and I was too busy to put my thoughts on paper (or screen as the case may be). Instead, I think I am going to take advantage of an extra hour on my Sundays and organize my thoughts then.  That being said...

I am thankful for appreciation.  It is much easier to serve and work when you know that your efforts are appreciated. I am not a front and center kind of girl. I don't want to be an MVP, but it sure is nice to hear, "thanks for always being dependable and doing it right the first time and making sure that it all gets done." I should probably say things like that more...

Happy Sunday!

For President Faulkner

I got a message from an old mission companion.  Apparently President Faulkner's birthday is coming up and his daughter is trying to collect letters and emails from his missionaries as a gift.  I decided that I should probably keep a copy for me.

 

Hola Presidente!

Happy Birthday!  (only the best people have birthdays in December!) I've thought about writing you letters many times over the past couple of years, but never really knew exactly how to get it to you. I know, "no hay excusos", but life just happens sometimes.

The first letter I was going to write you was a couple Christmas' ago.  We got a new stake president and Elder Cook came to the meeting.  In his Saturday night talk, he spoke about missionaries and why and how they are assigned.  It echoed something I heard in the MTC.  Basically, he said that many times we are assigned not necessarily where we can do the most good, but with the mission president that can do us the most good.  I know...no pressure there.  You did good.  I learned so much.  Funny how 10 years (can we really say that!?!) can really put things into perspective.

*"No hay excusos" applies to so many more things than obedience as a missionary. 
*The church's statement in November about children of same sex parents rocked the world.  I've been working with the youth for the past 3 years and one of my young women asked me what I thought of the new policies. Because of experiences I had on the mission (specifically when we started baptizing families and not just people), I was able to give her a coherent answer and invite her to ask the Lord for her own understanding and peace. (She found the peace she needed and just got a mission call!)

*Hna Faulkner always told me to write down experiences that I had so that I wouldn't forget them. (That applies more now, but I'll get to that in a little bit.)

A few months ago a heard about your cancer.  That was another letter that I was going to write you.  I even bought a card for you and promptly lost it on my desk. (I promise that I'll send it when I finally find it.)  I wanted to thank you for everything, your love, your support, your sacrifice, your hard words (sometimes I needed to hear them), EVERYTHING!  I know, the mission doesn't need to be the best 18 months, but I would easily call them some of the most influential months of my life. You were part of that and you made sure that I was a part of that.

The most recent letter that I almost sent (and I guess that I am sending) came about a month after I found out about your cancer.  My mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer at the end of September.  I'll agree with your daughters favorite hashtag, #CANCERSUCKS. As hard as it has been, I haven't been angry. I've never blamed the Lord and I've never questioned His plan.  Sometimes I wonder if that is active faith or an emotional apathy, but I'm sure I'll get that sorted out eventually. I guess the reason that I wanted to tell you that is because I wanted your advice on what I could do for her. You've been there. You've done the chemo thing. You know what it feels like.  I don't. I'm in Utah and she's in Nebraska and I want to help and be supportive, but it's a little more difficult when there are 2 states between you.  I know that the Lord is with her and taking care of her and I've seen more miracles over the past 3 months that I have at any other time since my mission. He's with me. He's taking care of me. He's giving me the opportunity to see and remember these miracles.  I've been writing a lot more lately and it has been good to remember and even more than that it's been therapeutic! Who would have guessed!?! (Thanks Hermana!)

I mentioned active faith and emotional apathy.  This is something that I've been thinking about for a few years.  For a while, I adopted "life happens" as a mantra. I had a job that I didn't love and didn't feel like I was progressing in my life. I decided it was depressing.  I found Romans 8:38-39 "For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Life does happen. Cancer happens. Bad jobs happen.  Single adulthood happens.  So many things happen that could easily make us unhappy, upset and even angry.  Just because these things happen doesn't mean that they have to separate us from our Heavenly Father.  We can choose to see His love and His guiding influence or we can choose to not.  I choose to find His love. 

I hope you and your family are finding that love too.

Merry Christmas!

and

Happy Birthday!!!

Much love,

Hermana Williams

So it's been more than a year...

A good friend of mine sent me a message the other day:

you ever blog any more?

So I've thought about it. I haven't. It's been a really long time. Actually, I haven't really written anything: letters, journals...anything. Even emails have been strictly professional. That makes me really sad. I used to write a lot. My degree is in English. Theoretically I should make a living off of writing. Funny how technology has changed things. I don't need to write anymore because there are now 12 other ways to communicate what my childhood pen pal our parents sent in letters.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately (but that is a completely different story for another day) and I'm trying to get back to my roots-back to expressing myself through words. Today seems to be an appropriate day for me make some of those observations.

Gratitude changes EVERYTHING!

I am grateful for trials.
I am grateful for opportunity to grow in trials.
I am grateful for modern medicine.
I am grateful for miracles.
I am grateful for the faith of others.
I am grateful for the power of optimism.
I am grateful for surrogate families.
I am grateful for opportunities that I don't ask for.
I am grateful for technology that allows me to communicate with my family.
I am grateful for my family.
I am grateful for a Heavenly Father that has enough patience to work with my learning curve.
I am grateful for the knowledge I have of the plan of salvation and the comfort that it brings to my life.
I am grateful for second chances.
I am grateful for holidays that give me time to think.

Happy Thanksgiving!

make it awesome.