Weird.

I'm officially the woman of the house. That's it.
Me. And the poinsetta bush.
So far I've:
Scraped the sidewalks.
Cooked ham hock and bean soup.
Watered the poinsetta bush. (not afraid to bribe my friends.)
Checked the mail.
Brought in the garbage can.
Reprogrammed the thermostat.
Bought Grandma balloons.
Started LITTLE DORRIT.
and
Read THE BOOK OF MORMON.
I feel productive.
Soup? Anyone?

Monday.

If I choose not to believe in it, it doesn't exist, right?

Reverse Psychology: will it work?

My mother has recently discovered that I have feet issues. Don't like them, don't touch them, don't like them to be touched, etc. The more I think about one of the gifts that I received under the Christmas tree (signed, from Bigfoot), the more I laugh-at her and the gift. She got me a stress relieving foot scrub and cream from Bath and Body Works. It's name is Tranquil Mint. She told me "it's stress relieving! and is to be used daily! so we can break you in slowly!" Good grief. Oh my mother.

USPS

While I was in DC last spring we stopped at the Old Post Office. It was a beautiful building with some of the greatest views I have ever seen of the city. It is no long an actual post office. The basement is some sort of touristy mall and while we were there, there was a stage set up with a jazz band. There was a mini-museum inside the tower where I learned something that I think I may have already known.

The United States Postal Service is slowly becoming obselete. It is being replaced slowly by the eco-friendly world of electronic mail. I approve. And yet, it saddens me. This year, I ordered some gifts (that are no larger than a greeting card) for a few friends online. Ignoring the recommendation to us UPS rather than USPS, I chose USPS because I thought it was well ahead (5 days) of the their recommended deadline in order for things to arrive before Christmas. I've actually really enjoyed the online tracking that they have given me. And I'm beginning to understand a little more about why USPS is becoming obselete.
Detailed Results:
*Processed through Sort Facility, December 20, 2009, 7:00 am, PHOENIX, AZ 85043
*Processed through Sort Facility, December 21, 2009, 11:07 pm, DENVER, CO 80217
*Processed through Sort Facility, December 23, 2009, 5:23 pm, SALT LAKE CITY, UT 84199
Denver? Really? Last time I checked, the quickest route between two locations is a straight line. Last time I checked, Denver was not part of a straight line between Salt Lake and Phoenix. Last time I checked, both Phoeniex and Salt Lake were major cities with postal processing units. At any rate, I'm not mad, angry, or even frustrated. I'm just fascinated. And glad that I'm not going to see these particular friends until next week.

***8 hours later: my expected package arrived.

I took my parents and grandmother out to look at Christmas lights tonight. During the middle of the Amazing Grace light spectacular, Dad got a phone call from my brother. He had just received the results from his last CPA exam. He graduated 8 months ago and has officially passed all 6 of his CPA exams. Congrats Squeeg! We're proud.

You know what makes me happy? Cheese. I really like gouda. Smoked gouda. I also really like the fact that I can go to Harmon's, talk to my friends Steve (the bread guy) and Alex (the cheese guy), and walk away with all the necessary parts for a perfect grilled cheese sandwich. I also love the fact that I can introduce Grandma and Mary Ellen and Myrnie to the fabulous stuff and have them actually eat and enjoy it. Cheese. Who know it was so wonderful?

couldn't be happier...

I will freely give WICKED the rights to the title of this entry, however, WICKED has absolutely nothing to do with the happiness that I am currently experiencing. Mother Nature threw me a bone and it snowed on my birthday. I was able to spend the day with good friends and family and enjoy food and company to last at least until next year.
I'd like to announce that I've officially/unofficially finished my Christmas shopping. I have something for everyone (except my nephew [which I find ridiculously ironic considering he should be the easiest to shop for]). Shopping for Grandma has been more (and less) difficult than originally anticipated and I have laughed more at her gift than any other. After the sub-zero (literally) cold spell we had a few weeks ago, I broke out my trusty hot water bottle. Grandma got jealous. Her's met it's unfortunate demise a few years back. TA DA!!! Stroke of genius. I could get Grandma a hot water bottle. She had looked rather envious when I showed her my Chilean bottle complete with fleece bag to cover it so it won't get too hot (or cold). Finding the fleece was super easy-however, the bottle itself proved to be a bit more complicated. I ended up at the local WALGREEN's at 9:00pm on Monday night. Having walked the aisles for 20 minutes, the bottle was procured and I proceeded to the check out counter to meet Anthony. Oh Anthony. He looked about 16, but knowing my estimation capabilities...he was probably 18-skinny jeans, shaggy hair, and all. He looked closely at the box and read out loud, "Latex Free Hot Water Bottle."
I said, "Yup. It's what Grandma wants for Christmas."
"A latex free hot water bottle?"
My response: "I don't think she really cares whether it's latex-free or not. It's all you have back there."
"Well, I guess ROCKBAND doesn't really apply to Grandma does it?"
"No. Not really."
I made my way quickly and quietly to my car and laughed out loud. Literally. I couldn't drive.
I have absolutely no idea why I found it to be so funny. Apparently, I'm looking for the small blessings. I think it might have to do with the fact that I played ROCKBAND with 3 cousins last year on Christmas Eve and I've never seen my grandmother look so bored. It could be the fact that she blatantly announced that she doesn't like entertainment from "my generation." "Her generation" is more enjoyable. I guess there's a generational gap.
I guess I just feel blessed.
It's been a good month. Snow. Birthday. Snow shoes. Muppet Christmas Carol. Egg Nog. Hot water bottles. Family. Phone calls. My family will all be here by this time next week. Really what more could I ask for? I really have enough that I can spare and share. I don't think that I could be happier.