Friday, October 23, 2009
The Grandma Diaries...(part 1).
After a highly productive afternoon on my part (paying for a cruise, registering for a class, and getting my brakes checked), my grandmother told me that the neighbor boy across the street said he would take her out for icecream and wouldn't be ashamed to be seen with her in public. I decided at that moment that I haven't been as dilligent as I should be when it comes to spending time with my grandmother and that tonight is her night. So far it has consisted of the first quarter of the Morgan/Juan Diego football game, 2 matches of the BYU/UTAH woman's volleyball game (with a complimentary lecture on the differences of volleyball scoring since she played volleyball), and the 2006 BYU/TCU upset. I'd like to announce that despite my dislike for organized sports such as football, I am intelligent enough to know that John Beck is no longer BYU's quarterback. Yay me. Also, I apparently have taken up my grandfather's traditional post on the couch. She keeps looking over and calling me Tess. or Dorice. finally Shandy. I think I slept for an hour in the midst of all of this and I think I dreamt that I drank a gallon of milk. I think I want a glass of milk now.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Homeless...
Okay, so I'm not REALLY homeless, but I kind of feel it. Funny story. I walked into work on Friday to find out that there was a waterfall in my office. The dentist upstairs had a drainage issue. That made for an exciting Friday full of wet MRI's and dental water. To be completely honest, I totally forgot about it over the weekend. I felt good about that...until today. I walked in today and realized that I had no office. No desk. No computer. Really-no purpose in being here today. The thought crossed my mind that perhaps...I could go home, but then I realized that really...the only things I have to do there are change my oil and make chocolate popcorn for my hometeachers. That's not going to take ALL afternoon. I decided I'd stick it out. So here I sit. I'm working off my manager's computer. I have no desk. Everything I need is locked in a room with 2 industrial fans and a lot of noise and humidity. Yup. That's about it. The good news is there will be chocolate popcorn. Tonight.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Meet my parents.
Today they have been married 29 years.
That's 29 shared birthday cakes.
348 Months.
1508 Weeks.
10585 Days.
254040 Hours.
15242400 Minutes.
914544000 Seconds.
3 Happy kids.
and 1 FANTASTIC grandkid.
Love you Funny Old People.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Once again I'm taking bets...
It's October. That means it's time for me to register my car. Last year (see here) it took a little bit longer than originally planned. This year, the stickers were put in the mail 2 nights ago. Any predictions for when they will arrive?
Addendum: (4 hours later) Apparently I need to have a little faith in USPS. My registration arrived in 2 days or less. I consider myself blessed.
Addendum: (4 hours later) Apparently I need to have a little faith in USPS. My registration arrived in 2 days or less. I consider myself blessed.
Monday, October 5, 2009
So I laughed.
These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words?
"He had delusions of adequacy." Walter Kerr
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll wast no time reading it." Moses Hadas
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." Oscar Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend....if you have one." George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second...if there is one." Winston Churchill, in response.
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." Stephen Bishop
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." Irvin S Cobb
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." Charles, Count Talleyrand
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." Forest Tucker
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; other whenever they go." Oscar Wilde
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp=posts...for support rather than illumination." Andrew Lang
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." Groucho Marx
"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." Jack E Leonard
"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." Robert Redford
"They never open their mouths without subracting from the sum of human knowledge." Thomas Brackett Reed
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." Billy Wilder
"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." Abraham Lincoln
"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." Winston Churchill
The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison."
He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
A member of Parliament to Disraeli:
"Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
"He had delusions of adequacy." Walter Kerr
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll wast no time reading it." Moses Hadas
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." Oscar Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend....if you have one." George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second...if there is one." Winston Churchill, in response.
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." Stephen Bishop
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." Irvin S Cobb
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." Charles, Count Talleyrand
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." Forest Tucker
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; other whenever they go." Oscar Wilde
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp=posts...for support rather than illumination." Andrew Lang
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." Groucho Marx
"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." Jack E Leonard
"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." Robert Redford
"They never open their mouths without subracting from the sum of human knowledge." Thomas Brackett Reed
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." Billy Wilder
"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." Abraham Lincoln
"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." Winston Churchill
The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison."
He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
A member of Parliament to Disraeli:
"Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Things I'm Looking forward to...
1) My conference Ensign.
2) Visiting Em with KP. This weekend.
3) Sweater weather.
4) Watching/Listening to conference as I get ready for work for the next month.
5) Pumpkin anything: muffins, bread, cookies, pie, seeds, shakes, spice, etc.
6) Running AFTER work.
7) The last week of January.
8) Cooking Thanksgiving for Grandma.
2) Visiting Em with KP. This weekend.
3) Sweater weather.
4) Watching/Listening to conference as I get ready for work for the next month.
5) Pumpkin anything: muffins, bread, cookies, pie, seeds, shakes, spice, etc.
6) Running AFTER work.
7) The last week of January.
8) Cooking Thanksgiving for Grandma.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
sweaters and chamomile...
Today is the day that I choose to find good in the fact that there is snow in the mountains and I have a GIANT mosquito bite on my left shin. I'm sitting here trying to not eat an entire pound of almonds as I wait for a fabulous dinner with friends that I don't see nearly enough. It's the last day of September. It snowed in the mountains and rained in the valley and I celebrated it with a cup of bliss (tomato basil soup) and fresh bread sticks. Not all of my tomatoes ripened before the weather turned cold so I am toying with the concept of "fried green tomatoes"-is it really more than a film and an actual edible concoction that can provide nourishment? Love, in it's 4 greatest forms, fills my life and I choose to appreciate it. I also choose turtleneck sweaters, warm fleecy jackets, and hot chamomile tea before delving into my favorite books that are physical proof that I have a spiritual father who loves me. Everyday as I left home for school, my mother said goodbye with "Make it a good day!" Today, inadvertently, I did.
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